Light lamp

“Higher and higher i climb with death filtering through my mind. I no longer have hope and each time my mind was finally ready to end it all, I think of something to drink, or stand on the end of a bridge ready to jump and so on” Tofunmi said as she was explaining to Sis Dunsin, the counselor. “It always seem like it would be quick and cheap. People do not understand what it feels like, they think they do but I only know what it feels like. Sometimes, it feels like i am suffocated in fake love, fake people, etc. Nobody loves me right?” She said. “Everybody does but the strange voices talking to your mind, does not love you” Sis Dunsin replied. “Strange voices” Tofunmi asked in awe. “Yes, Who told you or Where is it written that death is the right way to end failure, heartbreaks, lack of parental love, trust and so on. Tell me? Dunsin ended her words. 1Cor 10:13. There is no temptation you are going through that nobody has not pas...

She could not stop telling everyone about the man she fell in love with, because of who he is, who he represent, his values, character. Everything about him was amazing and she cannot get it all. A lot is imbedded in him. Tosin was on my way to a friend party, when she met him. Though, she just met him but had this feelings about meeting him before but what is her business, She have a party to attend and kept that in her mind. Suddenly, she went off at the mention of my name, she was suprised and amazed about how he knows her name. Immediately, He came towards her, looked at her and said “Tosin I love you, I have loved you before i met you” In her mind, she was thinking “Who is this guy disturbing me from entering into the party, he was behaving as if they sent him to me and also, what his he saying about love” Tosin replied “Love me ke, you have not spent time with me to know who I am before making decision of loving me” Let me tell you “I ...

Hidden from view, was her silent tears which flows freely anytime she remember home but no one cares to know as she held herself tight, and face it alone. Where did it go wrong?  the question she asked myself daily. I know a lady, whose childhood does not look like her future. She was a child who grew up with heart of an adult. She grew up in a kind of system, where everyday the pain grows extensively and she try to forget as hum her own little song, and block her ears with her hands to avoid the sounds she hears. Sometimes, she close her eyes and try to forget her fear but she is losing strength. What kind of home is this? Questions keeps popping into her mind. I thought home is a place of peace but mine is a place of struggles, fear, tears, pains and noise. The screams are getting louder and louder and she cannot stand it anymore. “If only, I could move out and escape anywhere would be better than here” she thought but she cannot leave and also, cannot watch her m...

Looking back on a time and place, where all i see was a child innocent face and i know that things were not the same as they appear now. Inside of me is full of silent tears, deep inside is filled with so much pain. I feel dirty and full of shame. My innocence was lost at a very young age and since then, i have been locked in a cage full of pains. There is no freedom or escape, the fact that i was raped and the guilty man is roaming freely, has made me being sentenced to eternity. Eternity locked with all shame, i cannot help but feel that i deserve the blame. Eventhough, common sense says it was not my fault, but i cannot help myself from having these thought. I kept going back to those moment, maybe there is something different that i could have done and i asked myself “Why didn't i scream or at least try to run?” But, i realised fear kept me froze to a spot and the grown man did what he should have not done. Shame and fear made me keep silent. I kept telling everyone ...