Hidden from view, was her silent tears which flows freely anytime she remember home but no one cares to know as she held herself tight, and face it alone. Where did it go wrong? the question she asked myself daily.
I know a lady, whose childhood does not look like her future. She was a child who grew up with heart of an adult. She grew up in a kind of system, where everyday the pain grows extensively and she try to forget as hum her own little song, and block her ears with her hands to avoid the sounds she hears. Sometimes, she close her eyes and try to forget her fear but she is losing strength.
What kind of home is this? Questions keeps popping into her mind. I thought home is a place of peace but mine is a place of struggles, fear, tears, pains and noise. The screams are getting louder and louder and she cannot stand it anymore.
“If only, I could move out and escape anywhere would be better than here” she thought but she cannot leave and also, cannot watch her mum suffer till death. She cannot leave her alone and her siblings. She was Ten and her heart feels broken in two. She hated her dad whenever she sees what he has done.
Mummy was covered with bruises from neck down to the toe. She tried running to shield her from another blow but she knows, when she look into his eyes, he feels no regret because in few more days, mum will forgive and forget. He makes them, feel dead with a mind full of pains and he stripped her of her foundation about home in such a little time.
“Mummy, why did you stay? Did you not stop to think about my future or how I feel? I suffered with you and I would eventually fall because I am broken. Look at me now with my life becoming a mess.” She said She began to love everyone around her less, her insecurities got stronger day by day and all she could do, was to sit on her bed and pray.
She began to develop low-self esteem and mood swings. She hated guys generally for no reason. Her mentality about home, start changing. She wanted to feel happiness and live life but, it becomes so hard. Depression keeps setting in, she was told she had a beautiful face but who really saw her quiet cries. Another admirer says“What a great smile” but they are not clever and do not know my fate.
“To everyone, parents listening to my words” Tanitoluwa said as she was about to round up her speech but no one, had an idea that she was the lady till she spilled it out. Growing up with the pain and cries of her mother heard regularly, also with the acts and scenes seen by her over and over again. By allowing your children to witness this terrible crimes, you destroy their lives and leave them with no power, and it changes their mentality on what life and home is all about.
“To everyone who grow up with a broken foundation as mine” She said, as she rounded up with tears dropping down. Your home foundation might be broken but your own foundation is not broken. You are going to start your own life, so learn from the situations around you and build yourself, life and home(future).
Make a decision that your own family and life would not be as what you have experienced and rely on God to heal every pain and to live right.
I love you all.
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