Wait....Am I cursed? Can I still get over the past? What is wrong with me? When will I finally get to be me? I want to be free, free from the past, free from those guys I had slept with, free from the pain of men, free from the world of men, free from the touch of evil men, free from the pain of love, free from the men holding me from progressing, free from the fear of those voices in my head.
I want to run, I want to hide, I want to tear down the walls that held me tight. I want to reach out and touch the flame of breakthrough, I want to live, I want to be heard. I am sorry for all the things I had done, I just want to be free from men. Though my past with men had led me on a journey of no return but I don't want to be a slave anymore. I want to move on and become a better version of myself. Enough of the sexual pleasures that satisfy only my sexual desire. I think to myself am I even real? I am stuck in this deep, dark and awful state.
I am sorry if I had hurt someone or would be hurting someone. I really don't want to feel this way, having those voices with me every day. Just leave me alone and let me be free, please someone help me find the key to my heart and soul. Then maybe I could finally be whole and be free from all this pain. So, please go away and leave me alone, instead of making my heart feel like stone and I will try and fight it the best I can to finally beat it now that is my plan.
This is the cry of someone that want to break free from being subjected to men but I want you to know its not by your power. Can you say this prayer with a sincere heart:- Jesus, I surrender all to you, my struggles, my life, pain, etc and please set my bound heart free. Let not this world be my prison. Loose my soul that it may soar and you can lead me to the hills away from where perfection kills. In you alone, my worth is found, my strength, my hope, my life's delight. I surrender myself now to your control and I believe your love shall heal my wounded soul, give me eyes that I might see those with wounded soul and I would lead them to your healing salve that you might take their tender pain and forever will I hold tight to you and your beauty forever... Amen.
God bless you and I love you!!!
Alokan Temilade Victoria.
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