Hidden from view, was her silent tears which flowed freely anytime she remembered home but no one cared to know as she held herself tight, and faced it alone. "Where did it go wrong?" The question she asked herself daily.
I know a lady, whose childhood does not look like her future. She was a child who grew up with the heart of an adult. She grew up in a kind of system, where everyone despised her and the pain grew extensively.
She tried to forget everything as she hummed her song, and blocked her ears with her hands to avoid the sounds she heard. Sometimes, she closed her eyes and tried to forget her fears, but she was losing her strength.
"What kind of home is this?" Questions kept popping into her mind as she watched her parents in another argument.
"I thought home is a place of peace but mine is a place of struggles, fear, tears, pains and noise" she kept saying to herself. The screams were getting louder and louder and she couldn't stand it anymore as she began to weep.
“If only, I could move out and escape anywhere, it would be better than here” she thought but she could not leave and also, couldn't watch her mum suffer to death. She could not also leave her siblings.
She was ten when she started experiencing everything. She hated her dad whenever she saw what he had done.
One fateful evening, another argument came up, her mummy was already covered with bruises from her neck down to the toe. She tried running to shield herself from another blow. Helpless her, she didn't know what to do even as her father was not regretful for his actions. Of course, his loving wounded wife would soon forgive and forget in the next few days. He made the whole household feel like they were in the world of the dead, as the little girl grew up with her mind full of pains; her foundation was not laid on love.
“Mummy, why did you stay? Did you not stop to think about our future or how we feel? I have suffered enough with you and I would eventually fall if I don't leave because I am broken. Look at me, see how my life is becoming a mess" She said as she cried with her mom who was covered with bruises.
She began to love everyone around her less, her insecurities got stronger day by day and all she could do, was to sit on her bed and pray. She began to develop low-self esteem and mood swings. She hated guys generally for no reason. Her mentality about home, started changing. She wanted to feel happiness and live like every other person, but it became so hard.
Depression kept setting in. She was told she had a beautiful face, but who really saw her quiet cries? Another admirer said, “What a great smile” but only if they can see what's behind the smile.
“To everyone, parents and children, listening to my words” Tanitoluwa said as she was about to round up her speech but no one, had an idea that she was the lady till she spilled it out.
"Growing up with all these terrible experiences was like death to me. Parents, allowing your children to witness terrible crimes, you are only destroying their lives and leaving them with no power, as it changes their mentality on what life and home is all about.
To everyone who grew up with a broken foundation as mine” She said, as she rounded up with tears dropping down. "Your home foundation might be broken but your own foundation is not broken. You are going to start your own life, so learn from the situations around you and build yourself, life and home(future).
"Make a decision that your own family and life would not be as what you had experienced and rely on God to heal every pain and to live right.
I love you all".
www.lightedwords.blogspot.com
*Alokan Temilade Victory*
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