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THE UNSEEN STRUGGLE

Series 1: FEAR

#The unseen struggle#

Fear of failing them.
Fear of not meeting expectations.
Fear of being unavailable.
Fear of breaking down.
Fear of the waiting seasons.
Fear of, “Will I ever be enough?”
Fear of, “Will they still trust me if I fail?”

The silent fear of “What if I let them down?”
You don't talk about it much but it's always there.
Always sitting quietly in the corners of your decisions.

What if I fail my parents?
What if I fail my siblings?
What if I fail the version of myself that's always been “the strong one”?

Every step is carefully calculated.
If I choose to be different, will I be seen as irresponsible?
If I say no, will I disappoint them?
Will this choice make them proud?

I carry their expectations like a personal assignment.
And when things go wrong, I ask myself, “Was it my fault?”
Even when it wasn’t.

Most times, saying "No" brings guilt.
Not because I did wrong,
But because I was taught that being unavailable, is the same as failing.

So I overthink.
I overgive.
I overwork.

But still, nothing changes.
And I wonder,
Was it ever meant to be this way?

I can be their helper
But I was never meant to be their savior.

From ADA.

#ADAstruggleseries
#UnseenStrugglesOfFirstDaughters
#TemiladeAlokan
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Facebook: Alokan Temilade Victoria
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