Light lamp

I remember those time at the movie location and how I usually get ready even before the director says "ACTION". Or, when the race is about to start. Even before you hear the word "GO", you are already set in your mind. You know that feelings of getting prepared to show the world what you have. The energy, strength, desire, love, etc.  This same way is how God wants you to burn for Him. Even when that unpleasant situation comes, He still wants you to stand for Him. Even when the whole problem of the world seems to be on you alone, He wants you to stand by Him. Even when things are not pleasant with you, He wants you to stand with Him Even when you are uncomfortable or comfortable, He wants you to stand by Him Even when you got declined when you are expecting approval, He wants you to stand by Him and trust Him. He will never leave you or forsake you. So, don't give up, keep trusting and believing in God. Never think you are a failure. You are not a Failure! His p...

Welcome To Thoria's Diary Page 56  *BEWAJI'S STORY* I am living far beyond the thought that everything will be fine. I am tired of everyone telling me everything will be fine I am tired of living and holding unto people's testimony when mine is yet to come I am tired, I am tired I am tired of the long term prayer and fasting everytime I am tired of those morning prayers and evening meeting without any result. I am tired, I am tired Why can't I be true to myself? It's been more than a year and nothing seems to work yet, I hear the word Believe everytime. I hear the voices of Pastors, family and friends telling me to have Faith. Yes, I know Faith is the evidence of things not seen but I believe there should be some signs. Yet, I see nothing.  Don't get me wrong, i am not an ingrate but I am a lady who thinks time is not by her side and many things I prayed for, I am yet to receive. How long do I hold up in Faith? How much time do I have to achieve everything I nee...

Welcome To Thoria's Diary Page 55  *BEE'S STORY* "Hmmm....what exactly was she talking about? Am I smelling? Because I don't understand why she looked at me and told me to clean up. Clean up for what exactly? Bee said as she was roaming round the room. She looked cranky as she couldn't get any answers to what Diane told her. "I always wear my perfume and I don't still understand why she will say something like that to me. It's so unfair and rude for her to say something like that" Bee said as she looked at herself again. To every Bee's The clean up there, most time doesn't mean the outward appearance. What about the inward appearance. Some lady care so much about their outward appearance and don't care about their inner appearance. Many who claim this and that is bad are only doing Eye-service. When you get close to some of them, you will realize that they don't actually mean what they say outward. They just say it because they fee...

Many at times, people keep asking, how do you do it? but the truth is, how many hold unto the answer given to them? Sorry, if you feel you are not celebrated the way, you ought to be celebrated Sorry, if you are not noticed the way you want to be noted Sorry, if you want more attention but you are not getting it Sorry, if you feel nobody wants to help or hear you out Sorry, if you feel you are not getting the result you want Sorry, if you feel you can't go on with that vision because it's not looking like it  Sorry, if you are not getting the public appraisal you think you deserve... Sorry, for whatsoever you think is holding you down. Making you feel jealous, unfocused, etc but the truth is, how far will this sorry go in changes things. Please, don't ever feel down. Appreciate every of your little progress either being seen or not. Life is beyond getting to be recognized publicly or in some platforms. Continue to build your secret place, build your vision and at the appoin...

Welcome To Thoria's Diary Page 54  *TEE'S STORY* To whosever who is reading this page of my diary, my name is Temitope Oyelaja. Also known as Tee. I need help, I sat down and watch. Sometimes, I am dumbfounded as I continually, ask myself How did it happen? Because I don't understand. How did I get here? I look at myself and I am not proud of where I am. I used to be very fervent in spirit but I don't know where I stand anymore. Somebody help me, I watch myself desiring progress I can't attain I watch myself claiming openly to be who I am not secretly  I watch myself leaking in the place of prayer yet I couldn't do anything I watch myself draining in the Word yet, i watch christian movies just to keep myself in the word. Please help me, I can't continue to be who I am not. I need the old way where I stay, pray and laugh in the secret place I miss the communication with My Father I miss Him sharing his thoughts with me I am only active in online programs but ...

Welcome To Thoria's Diary Page 53  *DEE'S STORY* I am Adeola (Dee). I feel nothing is changing. Nothing is real and everything just keep being the same. Am i the only one going through this season. I thought this wilderness, is just for a short time but nothing seems to change and everything is still the same. It seem every steps has disappointments, rejections and delay waiting for me. I am even afraid of taking the next step because I feel I am a loser and I don't fit in for the next stage. Now, how I do I face those attached to me. Those excepting something's from me. How do I face my family, friends, etc. Can I even believe myself? Can anything good come out from me? When am I going to get that marriage proposal? When and how am I going to get that money to start that business? So many things and so many questions running through my mind. I feel devastating! To every DEE's, Don't lose who you are and your self just because of what is happening around you. Yo...

A wise person, looked into my face and told me " You are a BEACON. You a light and cannot be hidden. Wherever, you step into you shine and attracts men. Just hold unto Him(God) and keep being you" I was flattered and I remembered the bible verse "Matthew 5:14:- KJV:Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid" Last month, there were days I was feeling low because something's were not working for me. You know that feeling of when you use to be good at something and all of a sudden, it stops working for you and you kept wondering, how did you go wrong. That was the same feeling I had. I had people around me who motivated me and I also kept pushing. I was even at the verge of giving up but God had his plans and way.  The same lady that was once not getting it right in the field and was about to give up was the same lady that came out as on of the top's and people are coming to ask how did she do it. I was even getting recommendatio...

Flashing back to my childhood, all I remember is being ROBBED. Robbed of the mentality of what feminity is, Robbed of the knowledge of what being a woman is, Robbed of so many things and the question I ask myself daily is Mummy why? You were the first person I had a close relationship with and you never gave me sex education, not even showing me the sexual organs on a female. I got to find out things from my friend and biology teacher. I was shocked when a guy asked about MY LIBIDO LEVEL. I got home and wanted to ask you but I knew you will persecute me. You specifically distanced sexual talk from me. The only memories of sexual education I had was you screaming, "Don't let a guy touch you, Don't play with guys, Don't be too close with guys, Don't hold any guy". You said if I do all these, I won't get pregnant. I listened to your words for some days until I realized I was pushing away all the guys that came my way. I began to walk and move with my female f...

How presentable are you?  On a Saturday, I was standing and waiting for a car to take me to my location. I stood at the junction for few minutes and after a while, I waved my hand to a car but I looked away since it didn't stop. Suddenly, I heard a man saying "Aunty Motor yen ti duro fun yin now (meaning Aunty, the car has stopped for you)" and I walked towards the car. I greeted the man as I sat down in the front seat and fixed the seat belt. After a while, we engaged in some little discussion that seemed funny and later I realized he just wanted to help me. At the point, I was thinking about many things. I even thought of getting down maybe he is a ritualist because I don't understand why you will say you just want to help me but I didn't do all of that because we have gone too far and I started praying. We were both silent till we got to half of the journey when he asked "Did you know the reason why I stopped for you? I said "No" He said "Yo...

Welcome to Thoria's Diary Page 52  *PEMISIRE'S STORY*  I lived a life totally different from the life of every other beings.  For a while, I got so adapted to it and I continue to endure all the oppression, thoughts and pain. I thought everything was going to end soon but it didn't happen. I was just dreaming. I couldn't confide in anyone because it was a shameful experience and I didn't want anyone to think I was possessed by some spirit. I was a joyful person at day but another being at night as I couldn't understand what was going on with me. It was a sudden experience and I heard the testimonies of those who went through what I experienced. I tapped into it and I prayed to God daily to help me and draw me out of the pit of the devil. I didn't know how it happened but I found myself in a spiritual battle every night where my strength failed and the oppression became so intense and mostly, I wake up feeling weak with wet pants.  I couldn't tell anyone ...