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WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

Flashing back to my childhood, all I remember is being ROBBED.

Robbed of the mentality of what feminity is,
Robbed of the knowledge of what being a woman is,
Robbed of so many things and the question I ask myself daily is Mummy why?

You were the first person I had a close relationship with and you never gave me sex education, not even showing me the sexual organs on a female.

I got to find out things from my friend and biology teacher. I was shocked when a guy asked about MY LIBIDO LEVEL. I got home and wanted to ask you but I knew you will persecute me. You specifically distanced sexual talk from me.

The only memories of sexual education I had was you screaming, "Don't let a guy touch you,
Don't play with guys,
Don't be too close with guys,
Don't hold any guy". You said if I do all these, I won't get pregnant. I listened to your words for some days until I realized I was pushing away all the guys that came my way.

I began to walk and move with my female friends just like you wanted and I ignored the guys because I remembered every word but see where it has landed me. The so called move with the same sex has taught me more things and exposed me to feminity and sexuality is all about. I began to learn some new languages and know many new things about myself. 

At age 14, I knew what sex is all about because most of our discussion was based on that. I began to feel the need of the opposite because the way sexuality was discussed by the girls, seems enticing and I wanted to explore.

Probably, if you had told me all about this in the right manner probably, I would have restrained myself,
Walk up in confidence knowing that my body is precious and had to be kept till the right time.

Only if, 
You had told me what sexuality is all about I wouldn't have been eager to explore

Only if,
You had answered me when I came to meet you and asked you some silly questions maybe I would still be your little baby

Only if,
You had not pushed me and shunned me when I was inquisitive about sensitive sexual matters, maybe I would still be your baby girl.

You robbed me of my right and I had to learn in a hard way from the people that were inexperienced.

Now, you watch me and regret ever having me but I regret having to come to the world through you. I regret ever knowing you.

WHY DID YOU ROB ME OF MY MENTALITY. 

To every mother,
In as much as you want to hide something sexually away from your children, I also feel they need to have a fore knowledge about who they are and what sexuality is all about. 

You can buy them books to read if you feel you can't talk to them yet but at least, let them have a knowledge about it. Getting knowledge from outside, won't be like them trusting your words. They can be mislead.

Dear Parents, if you have your way, let your teenager attend this program. TEENS AND SEXUALITY. It's going to explosive.

God bless you!

 *Alokan Temilade Victoria* 
 *Light Lamp*
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