Welcome to Thoria's Diary
Page 11
*GLORIA'S STORY*
In my quest to find LOVE, I found LUST which became an addition to me.
Tosin was one of the guys I evangelised to but among all, he seems ready to listen more to what I had to say. So, we exchanged numbers for proper and adequate communication.
His desire to know God became deep, after two weeks of intense teaching and explanation. Also, gradually we became close as we both revealed things about ourselves. Along the line, I got to realise we both had similar past and that led to several questions.
Our communication grew, as we began to talk everyday and sometimes end our conversation with the scripture. My friends around me thought we were dating but I kept telling them we were just friends but deeply within me I am already in love with him. I have never loved any guy as I love Tosin. He is teachable, funny, intelligent, smart, well oriented and to crown it all he is born-again.
"Wow...could it be, the reason why I met Tosin was beyond evangelism" I thought severally as I could not stop thinking about him.
Sometimes, I wish we can end our calls with I LOVE YOU but I didn't want him to see me as a desperate lady. So, I told myself everyday that I will wait till the right thing.
Finally, one day he called and I was almost sleeping but immediately I saw his number I quickly picked the call. I have been expecting his call for a long time. I asked him why he was just calling. He apologized and said he went for a program.
My mind has gone far, I was thinking of how much I love him and I want him to say it to me.
"Okay" I said with a tiny voice which lead to the question that started the journey of my addiction
"Are you sleeping? He asked and I said No. Then, he asked me to come online. We started chatting, playing, saying naught things and before I knew it, he asked the color of my night gown, pant, etc and then we started SEX TYPING.
We were having sex through typing. We have gone far before I realized how far we have gone. I tried to call back his attention but then, he said the long expected words...I LOVE YOU. I smiled cheaply and forgot almost everything I wanted to say.
The journey kept going on and anything I tried correcting him. He assured me of his love and also made me realize we aren't sinning so far, we are not having it physically but my life is drawing back.
I don't get myself anymore, I am so engross in it and I sought for every little opportunity to call him. Anywhere and at any place. Even in the church, we both do it together because the sermon now seems too long and boring to me. I am addicted to it and I am always angry whenever he can't meet up at the time I needed him. I can't even read my bible anymore, it looks dry and boring to me. All I just want to do is to sex type.
I need help, what can I do?
To every Gloria...either your experience is similar or different from this.
The first step you need to do is to stay away from the things that will draw you to sin. For Gloria now, she needs to stay away from her phone and social media. Whatsoever, will make you fall disconnect from it. Whosoever will make you fall, stay away from Him/her.
Then, you need to call on Jesus. Tell everything to Him, be broken before him. Ask Him to restore you back. Ask him to breathe on you afresh and Tell Him to hold you hands.
Stay with Him till you feel lighted and regenerated. Study the word and pray everyday.
You don't need to run away from Jesus. Yes, you might feel you are the worst sinner ever but he is ever ready to pull you out of the shackles of sin and set you free you
the determination, start from you
God bless you and I love you! Yes, you!
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