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THORIA'S DIARY


Welcome to Thoria's Diary

Page 12

 *SADE'S STORY*

What more can be displeasing than a beautiful lady like me, who is struggling to love and stay in a relationship. Tito, my friend always advice's me to go to a psychologist for check up. Nobody seems to understand me because nobody knows the origin.

It's not as if I am happy with everything that is happening to me. I tried severally to make every of my relationship work but it seems fruitless. I am a lover of God but I realized the pains and hatred for love was birthed by my parents, while I was growing up and it's still affecting me. I wish I could forget the past but every of my efforts to forget, seems negative.

I have dated 5 men in my life but I always end up breaking up with them without any reason. I cried because I live in the shadow of love.

I loved Bro Emmanuel so much that I thought I will be spending the rest of my life with him. I saw the future with him but every of the vision collapsed the night I called him with tears in my eyes. Telling him I needed space.

Before then, I have been giving him attitudes and ignoring him. I frustrated him because I wanted the break up to come from him but he didn't. I became angry as the reflection of the past kept occurring and the mindset of wanting to be alone, set in. That night just like a dream, I picked up my phone, shouted and nagged at him. Giving him several excuses and I broke up with him as I began to cry.

My relationship with him was just 3 months and my friend was surprised at my reaction. Only if she knows what's going on in my mind. My mind is in a battle field. A side of me, wants bro Emmanuel and the other, wants to stay alone.

"Mum and Dad, what have you done to me" these were the words I murmured as I began to weep. Tito was confused and didn't seems to understand me. I am a lady many men will love to have but I don't think I can stay committed... Help me!!!

Hmmm...To every Sade,
I understand the battle of your mind. I know how it feels, when you desire to love but there seems to be no way because of the pain of love you saw in the life of those who ought to be the model.

Hmmm..don't be surprised. People like Sade are also among the believers. Some are ministers, teachers, writers, etc. They tried severally to communicate their pain in language but only few understand them. Some of the beautiful sisters who turned down the proposal of men are not only doing it, because they are not the one. Some are scared to love, scared of trust and so on. They don't want to paint themselves black. So, they decided to stay alone with the pain but for how long?

My dear sisters...Jesus isn't only interested in the salvation of your soul. He is also interested in every aspects. You need to give all those hurts and pains to him.

How? Genuinely, forgive those that caused the pains, tears, etc. Instead of it to be a scar, let it be a testimony to liberate and bring light to others passing through the same situations. 

Next thing, stay away from relationship and give yourself to Jesus, his words and prayer. Let him mould and fix you to the best. Jesus is every ready to fix every broken hearts.

Watch out for the February edition of VOICES. You don't want to miss out!

God bless you and I love you!

 *Alokan Temilade Victoria*


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