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MY STRUGGLE

My name is Gift, I am 14yrs. My family most especially my mom, never understands my feeling and I also find it very hard to understand what I am feeling. 

Actually, it's a deep pain and whenever I try to communicate how I feel about it, my siblings just make fun of me and each time, I gather the courage to tell my mom, I still find myself getting hurt. Sometimes, they say I take everything personal and i am oversensitive. I was really hurt, and each day, I find it difficult to bring myself to express my true feeling because I think they don't care and I am only being silly to them.

I cry myself to sleep almost twice a week and even think about suicide but when I recall the happy moments, I think that if I would have died that I won't be able to experience that. 

As a teenager, they think I don't know what it is to have a struggle. I am just a child with imaginations, trying to get attention, right?

Sometimes, I feel neglected, forgotten, alone and afraid. Sometimes, I feel I can't escape it, I feel trapped and my confidence is crumbling.
Sometimes, I look for other ways to stop how I feel but there's no gain because I will end up falling back.

People say, I am hurting myself, they say I overreact but only me, truly knows how I feel. I feel dead even while living and I keep growing with this pain.

To every Gift,
I want you to know you are still young for what you are experiencing. You can find someone you trust that can help talk to your parents so that they can understand how you feel better. Also, God loves you so much and He didn't create you to be a worried being. He created us, to be loved. So, talk to God about how you feel and He shall give you rest.

To every parents, because they are teenagers, doesn't mean they don't have what they are experiencing too. Please always be there for them. This is when they need us most.

*Alokan Temilade Victoria*
*Light Lamp*

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