*IT WAS A MISTAKE*
I don't understand why you chose him over me,
I was there but you just did not see.
I would have done everything right,
Instead you chose him, and to stay and fight.
I may have been little, but I will always remember the tears.
I haven't forgotten it
Not even after all these years.
In and out of homes,
What kind of kid's life is this?
What more could I expect; it's only going to get worse.
I was born a mistake, so I guess I'm forever living in a curse.
Bottled up inside are the words I've never said to you,
The feelings that I hide,
You can see it in my eyes,
But in my silence it will forever lie.
My daddy was meant to love me.
He was meant to be there,
But he was the one that was my biggest fear.
He bought nothing to me but all my tears.
Everytime I try and forget you, I can't get you out of my mind.
I hate to think that others went through what I did
After all I was only a kid.
It's a new home, one after another,
Will it ever get better I just want back my real mother.
Kids used to say I was that special one.
No one understands, I hate it
They don't know what it's like or go through what I've been through.
I kept it all inside and start to harm myself
Not knowing what to think
My self esteem was dragged and anxiety began to set in
All I could remember,
I remember my dad drinking.
I remember my mom and dad fighting.
I remember the harsh abuse.
I remember them telling me I was nothing.
I remember my dad's late night parties.
I remember getting nothing to eat when they are angry
I remember the kicks, the punches, the hitting, and the bruises.
I remember all the unwanted homes I was taken too and how they affected me.
I guess all of it has made me and that's all I'll ever be.
Would you notice,
Would you care,
To look me in the eye,
And tell me,
I should just die?
That's the truth,
I'm better off dead.
My whole life has been a lie,
And in the end all I want to do is die
I wonder where they are because,
I have so many questions I'm just never going to get answered
Looking all depressed is what I do best,
But trying to survive is definitely a big test.
Living in my world is definitely not fun.
I guess I'm that *lucky* child, that very *special* one" Rachel said
Dear Rachel's
The hurts, pain, experience you passed through are to mould you to a better future.
Learn from your parents mistake and decide not to go through that path. Sincerely forgive them so that you can let go of those pain and hurt. It's not going to be a easy journey but I pray the lord strengthen you. I believe this will be a message to parents who abandoned their children without thinking of the repercussions in their life.
The lord is with you!
*Alokan Temilade Victoria*
*Light Lamp*
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