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MY STRUGGLE


*MY FEARS*

Being left behind,
Not being loved
With no one to understand and care
I had a dream but,
I was lost
Yet, no one tried to 
Find me
No one listened
Or understood

I feel left out,
Feeling like no one understands
Feeling like no one 
Seems to care about me
No one, can hear me
When I'm screaming 
Yet, I want to be heard

Sometimes, I wish i could change things
Wishing I could make it better
I wish for another chance
Wishing for someone who 
Will come and save me
From myself.

My fear's
Not being heard
Being left behind
Not being understood
No one caring
How can I disappear and
make people understand.

Disappear from this world
Show people what
It's like to
worry, 
misunderstand and
not being cared for.

Yet, I have deepest fears,
People laugh
People tease me,
People misjudge me
People misunderstand 
me.
Behind my back, they laugh, and it hurts,
so I can't see them. It hurts.

Now, I have learnt to hide 
My pain In my heart,
No matter what and making sure, no one sees
my hurt.
Also, Pretending to be
someone I'm not.
Trying so hard to fit in
to cover the scars,
Trying so hard, to be liked
by everyone,
Even though, it hurts me

After my dream 
ended,
I wondered...
What am I living for?.
I have chosen to be who the people wants me to be
The pain
I've caused the hurt
the disappointments
The worries
Hoping, now people understand,
People miss me,
People hear me and others 
Forgetting all,
all the pain, and hurt
I learned to hide
inside,
buried deep in my heart and No way out
Now, 
I don't know who I am anymore .. 

We have a lot of people still living in fear of what others thinks or will say about them. 

Sisters, 
Don't neglect who you are to embrace what others think/ want you to be. They are not the dictator of your life.

No matter, how you push it,
You can't be good to some people because,
They will always point out something or,
Backbite about you.
So live your life to please your creator and to aspire to fulfil your dreams.

Don't stop till you get better
Get rid of the thoughts of "what will people say" if you want to progress because either,
You do good or bad
People will always have something to say about you.
Enough of living in fear to suit everyone even at the detriment of your happiness.

This is not the kind of life, 
God has called us to live
You can do better,
Don't give in to those fear
You are more than that!!!

*Alokan Temilade Victoria*
*Light Lamp*
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