Welcome to Thoria's Diary
Page 7
*NNEKA'S STORY*
I once felt I was the greatest sinner in the world but thank God for His mercy, grace and love that saved me.
His love and mercy drew me from the way of condemnation and reproach. He crowned me with love and set me free from the shackles of sin.
I was a committed member in my church but outside the church, I was another being. I struggled with addictions to alcoholic drinks and smoking. How did it happened?
Hmmm, I met Tunde at my place of work. He is a Christian but not a committed one. Nevertheless, I loved him because he was caring, lovely and nice. He is every ladies dream but my relationship with him, made me do many things against my will as a Christian but I was ready to give it what it takes, to make my relationship work.
Everything I thought will make the relationship work, didn't happened. Instead, he said, he was disappointed in me that as a Christian, I fell for the temptation and he ended the relationship. I was suprised, Tunde was my world. I loved him deeply and never thought of leaving his side. I begged him severally but he refused and said he has made his final decision.
For weeks, I could not go to church. I had to take a leave from the office to settle myself emotionally. Though nothing changed even after the leave. The day I resumed back to work, I got the most shocking news of my life. Tunde was getting married to the Manager Director. I was devastated and ran out of the office. Some ladies from the office followed me and took me to a spot.
They were the ladies I usually evangelise to then but the table was turned around. Instead, they began to tell me their stories and how broken they are and also, how they have given up on relationship. So, to console me, they ordered a bottle of beer for me and also for themselves with cigarette's. Out of the frustration and also hearing their stories, I opened the beer and gulped everything with tears.
At that moment, I wasn't myself anymore. All I could think of, was how Tunde betrayed and took advantage of me. I couldn't even remember my identity in Christ.
So, I began to walk with the ladies. I started joining them in drinking and smoking. Though I still go to church after several calls from people but I wasn't committed anymore. People kept asking what was wrong with me. I couldn't tell them anything as I secretly indulged in drinking and smoking. I became a chronic smoker and drinker but nobody in the church knew about it and it wasn't done openly.
Even after the service on Sundays, I still find myself going back to smoking and drinking. I was spiritually cold, I couldn't pray nor sing. I believed I was the greatest sinner ever and I thought I was too dirty to approach God. So, I couldn't pray and all I do was to cry in my room.
Then one day, on a Sunday morning. It was an Holy communion service. After the message, the pastor asked us to pray for everything we want to see in our lives after partaking in the communion. I knelt down and I began to cry as i opened my mouth to pray. I cried out for His mercy to pull me out of the pit I have drawn myself into and I stood up to partake in the communion.
Getting home, I felt energize to pray and I began to pray. It was usual as I prayed for hours after many months and the urge to drink or smoke, didn't cross to my mind for days/weeks. This was something I couldn't do without it in a day. Gradually, I also began to see some changes in my life. My spiritual life was refired, the mercy of God saved me through the communion and i shared my testimony to the church. God also separated me from the ladies that influenced me.
Hmm...my dear sister, I don't know how grievous your sin is but one thing I know is, He has called unto those who are heavy burdened to come unto Him and he shall give them rest. The rest also include freedom.
So, I charge you not to hide your sins away from God. Cry out for His mercy, confess your sin and He shall restore you.
God bless you!
*Alokan Temilade Victoria*
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